But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
