i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
