i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
