Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
