that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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