my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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