u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
