Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
