I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
