i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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