And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
