My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
