Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I want a musical about memes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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