My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Screwed.edu
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
