And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
