So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
