i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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