her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
