the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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