You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
