Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
