just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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