sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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