is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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