So drunk its hurt
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
