Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize