Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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