Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
