ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
