This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
