69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize