I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
