Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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