We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
