After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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