my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize