Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
