I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I party with great urgency now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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