Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
