i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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