So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
