yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize