oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize