Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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