I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
only if we run a train.
done.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
