we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
