remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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