i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You made out with two different species that night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
