She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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