This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
