I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
