Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
