you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize