Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
