Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
