he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
