just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
