but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're a waste of cheezeits
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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