hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's Friday. Sex?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
