she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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