He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize