have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
