He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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